tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post452837743909366920..comments2023-05-23T08:00:01.116-05:00Comments on Bemused and Amused: Go ahead then, fall in loveAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14909206673660331769noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-53435186970756212122013-07-08T10:02:51.612-05:002013-07-08T10:02:51.612-05:00Excellent Posst. You have it exactly right. Nice t...Excellent Posst. You have it exactly right. Nice to see a fellow blogger on twitter. <br /><br />http://bollywoodbegum.blogspot.com/Bollywood Begumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14271974891905801291noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-52597126326823768552013-06-27T11:13:11.780-05:002013-06-27T11:13:11.780-05:00Dear Nivedita Di ,
I completely agree with what y...Dear Nivedita Di ,<br /><br />I completely agree with what you said in your post , the importance of knowing people for what they really are , helps in finding the right person , and that acceptance can bring much more than excitement - it brings peace , it brings happiness. It is indeed a beautiful and happy feeling... :) <br /><br />With regards ,<br />Shameek...Shameek Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13716348438171054715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-19248113533341481352013-04-05T08:22:33.402-05:002013-04-05T08:22:33.402-05:00Thank you so much for the comment, Payaswini. And ...Thank you so much for the comment, Payaswini. And more so for taking time out to read it all in the first place. I read and reread your post, and am still not sure I am in total agreement. When I once asked my grandmother how her how women in her days put up with all that they had to, she said "because they had to. They did not want to, most did not do it all out of love, but out of necessity. There was no financial independence, society would run you over if you did not stick to the rules. Not everyone is bold enough or honest enough to challenge rules." So, I'm not sure it is all about that entire generation being more loving or selfless. And that mention of honesty in challenging rules is something I'll remember all my life. It's not just about courage. The rest? Well, I agree to the rest. As we become more complicated as men and women, our relationships do too. But that still does not stop me from wondering: do we really HAVE to make it all so complex? And I know no one will answer this, but how much courage or honesty do we need to fight for someone we really love? So why do we not do it? Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14909206673660331769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-13171968374898035272013-03-29T00:55:16.848-05:002013-03-29T00:55:16.848-05:00Congratulations! Your post moved me enough to at l...Congratulations! Your post moved me enough to at least spend some more time on your blog and leave a comment. <br /><br />Let me start with an anecdote<br /><br />Me: Mamma, did you love dad when you married him? (my parents had an arranged marriage)<br />Mamma: No, I didn't know him enough to love him. But the little that I knew about him, I respected him a lot. And then I learnt to love him.<br />Me: Ok; so first it was respect, then love.<br />Mamma: yes; for both of us, as far as I can tell. <br /><br />The reason I opened with this little conversation is because I find it difficult to find men who respect women today. For some reason, for me, love emanates from there. That someone not only accepts me for who I am but appreciates it as well. That is selfless. Love is selfish. <br /><br />Now, coming to your point on since when has it become so difficult to fall in love? I think, and I can be entirely wrong, it’s because the social fabric has changed. Expectations have changed. So let’s break it down- what is being in love? Spending time together, doing stuff that you like, compromising on things for someone because you want to see/make them happy, being there for each other etc etc<br /><br />Now all of this requires time, energy and effort….and it can’t be one sided. And I think we can agree on at least one thing- women of our mom’s generation or our grandmother’s generation were more giving and unconditional than women today. And that’s where the problem (for the lack of a better word) starts. <br /><br />Today most professional, career-oriented women (I gather that that is the target group of your piece above) believe, and rightly so, that they are no less than a guy…so the compromises that I alluded to above seem unfair and one-sided. And I am not saying men are entirely wrong here. While we want men who accept us with our ambitions, I don’t know any girl who would be okay marrying a guy who says he wants to take a lighter job and he is okay taking care of the family and kids. (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/18/booming/he-hasnt-had-it-all-either.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1& )<br />Not sure how many of us in India would be okay with this; yes, I say India, because ‘what the society will say’ continues to affects us; though in varying degrees. Similarly, while men today want educated, ambitious girls, they can’t seem to wrap their minds around the fact that with that, they will need to make concessions on the domestic front. They are in a relationship with a human being; not superwoman. <br /><br />So you can’t look at love in isolation. It comes with all these thing- compromises, fairness in a relationship, equality, respect, acceptance etc. So while we want to cling to the idea of love, we are not ready to settle just there! And which is why the hesitation to fall in love, the fear of getting hurt…because while love is a cookie, it also comes with calories! And who wants calories; metaphorically and literally speaking :)<br /><br />Yours Incoherently,<br />PayaswiniPayaswinihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11203174483363546988noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-47982953397051002412013-03-22T22:58:47.196-05:002013-03-22T22:58:47.196-05:00Thanks, Neena and Sukanya. I know exactly what bot...Thanks, Neena and Sukanya. I know exactly what both of you are saying. But that is why I was wondering, why and when did we complicate things so much? And I see no one chose to talk about the fighting tooth and nail to keep it when we find it bit...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14909206673660331769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-33027308749188795622013-03-21T22:57:56.189-05:002013-03-21T22:57:56.189-05:00I think there is a good reason why love is so rare...I think there is a good reason why love is so rare, esp among young people. It requires that rare balance of letting go & maturity to let it evolve. Its incomplete without surrender and remains unfulfilled without adequate nourishment. So many thin lines to tread upon and of course the slackening interest in all things not-so-perfect...is it just love that remains ever so elusive ?<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00977753506033822204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-4070568169373359162013-03-20T20:51:04.973-05:002013-03-20T20:51:04.973-05:00Seriously, the pure innocence and chance of fallin...Seriously, the pure innocence and chance of falling in love, loving someone beyond exterior beauty is so rare both in developed and developing societies these days. There is most often if not always a checklist that one must comply with to go to the next level. This is sad. Neena Majumdarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04244983265274114521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-40771458319229227522013-03-20T20:20:39.516-05:002013-03-20T20:20:39.516-05:00Not sure if I'm self cannibalising this space,...Not sure if I'm self cannibalising this space, but I've been thinking a bit about this post and have been reading up a bit, when I came up against this "Take pleasure in loving, but do not expect that anybody is obliged to reciprocate that love". <br />And to that I had to add, if and when we do get lucky enough to find that person,,m would think it is worth everything to set ego aside and fight tooth and nail to keep them in our lives.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14909206673660331769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-63737538339852117802013-03-19T19:39:04.457-05:002013-03-19T19:39:04.457-05:00Thanks for your comments, Maha and Amith. What is ...Thanks for your comments, Maha and Amith. What is the concise world? <br />And does my blog suggest things are amiss? I was hoping quite otherwise! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14909206673660331769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-58245018823249512712013-03-19T17:36:42.509-05:002013-03-19T17:36:42.509-05:00You write well. Has anyone not told you that? all ...You write well. Has anyone not told you that? all this is wonderful but will you ever start another blog for the concise world? ;-) And hope all is well with the men in your life?amithpr.wordpress.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10854019581763014908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-63465038547729116532013-03-19T14:32:41.012-05:002013-03-19T14:32:41.012-05:00Once again, its just beautiful :)
Like any overw...Once again, its just beautiful :)<br /><br />Like any overwhelming feeling... it starts with denial, fear, being vulnerable and then a moment of epiphany. Its a trip....(the biggest of all if you ask me) I wish everyone experiences this once in their lifetime.Mahahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17146153465819468168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-19974487674833008932013-03-19T13:05:03.131-05:002013-03-19T13:05:03.131-05:00Thanks for commenting, Pratik da. And may I add I ...Thanks for commenting, Pratik da. And may I add I was expecting you to be one of the first few people to do so? I'm glad you liked the post. I wish more people would just try and be honest and more accepting of love. It is sad that most young (and old) people today don't see the fun and joy of it, they are so busy playing by the rules. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14909206673660331769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8449031809151714072.post-32536937109450992962013-03-19T11:18:53.781-05:002013-03-19T11:18:53.781-05:00excellent. you have hit the nail on its head. sadl...excellent. you have hit the nail on its head. sadly these rubbish rules are getting into the head of young people in our country, too. everybody is so busy being 'cool' and finding a 'cool' boyfriend/girlfriend that they have forgotten what is love and how important it is to find a good person to lose your heart toPratikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17098636740339946100noreply@blogger.com